


We Are Who We Choose to Be

by beeftony



Series: The Insomnia Series [4]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-29
Updated: 2013-03-29
Packaged: 2017-12-06 20:33:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/739889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beeftony/pseuds/beeftony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katara reflects on what it means to be a bloodbender, and Sokka offers some unexpected words of encouragement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Are Who We Choose to Be

Katara stood on the balcony of the inn, staring off into the forest. This was not the same inn she had occupied the night before. The town had many places for travelers to rest, and the people had offered them free rooms for the night to reward the service they had done. But Katara did not want to sleep.

The townspeople were obviously grateful. They had solved a mystery and brought the culprit to justice. But helping them had not given her the same feeling as when they helped rescue the fishing village from the factory. That was a simple case of inspiring the people and getting them to help. The people running the factory were obviously evil and needed to be expunged. It was a much simpler situation than the one she had found herself in tonight.

None of them knew, she mused. None of them knew what a bloodbender was. That was why they had offered the group rooms for the night instead of simply driving them out of town, or worse, locking them up with the only other person who knew what that meant. They must have assumed the old woman was spouting crazy nonsense, but Katara knew better. She knew that Hama had been right.

She hadn't wanted to do it. She hadn't wanted to reach out and take control of another person's body. It was as if her own protective instincts betrayed her conscious mind, forcing her body into a course of action she did not want to follow. But it was the only way to save her friends.

A single tear trickled out, joined quickly by more. The salty fluid stung against her raw cheeks, which she had rubbed at earlier in order to cease the flow. Ordinarily she would have simply bent them away. But tonight she didn't want to.

"I thought you were done crying."

She rested her forearms on the railing and hung her head, letting the tears fall onto the wood. "Not yet."

"Well, Aang and Toph have already gone to bed. You should probably just get some sleep. We have to move out in the morning."

"I'm not tired."

"Really? You look exhausted."

"Just feeling a little drained is all," she explained stubbornly, still not looking at him. "I'll be fine."

"Well, there's still some food left if you want to get something to eat…."

Katara turned around quickly, a glare on her face. "Dammit Sokka, what does it take for you to get that I want to be _left alone_?"

He stood there stunned for a moment. "Yelling at me should do it," he replied after a moment. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she evaded, turning away from him. "Just that time of the month."

It was silent for a few moments. "You mean when you have to take a sea sponge and stick it in—"

She turned around again, cutting him off. "No! Ew! How did you know about that?"

"I learned it from a few of dad's sailors when they were talking about their wives. They were trying to gross each other out and I was too young to know what they were talking about, so I asked."

Katara blinked for a few moments. "Oh. Well it's not that. The full moon always makes me feel a little weird. I didn't understand why until tonight."

"Why is that?"

She faced the railing again. "I'll tell you later. You should probably get some sleep." When she didn't hear footsteps, she turned around again. "Didn't you hear what I said?"

"Yeah, I heard you. But you've got me really worried. Does this have anything to do with what Hama said?"

Katara looked away. "What makes you think that?"

"Well, you started crying right after she said it and you haven't stopped. What did she mean when she called you that?"

"A bloodbender?"

He nodded.

"It's a form of waterbending she invented. It's where you bend a person's blood to move their body around like a puppet. It's how she was controlling you and Aang."

"And how she was leading all those people up to the mountain," Sokka realized.

"Right. But it can only be done under a full moon."

"And she taught you how to do it."

Katara looked down and more tears came. "I didn't want to do it. But she was about to make you stab Aang and I couldn't let that happen." She kept her eyes focused on the deck, not wanting to look up to the judgmental expression that was surely there. "At first I thought I could beat her with regular waterbending, but she was too good. Then I figured Aang could put a stop to it, like he always does. But then she started making both of you dance like puppets and I couldn't stop myself." She closed her eyes. "Go ahead, call me a freak. I know you want to."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Huh?" She looked up, and his expression was nothing like she had imagined. He was looking at her strangely, but his words made her doubt that he was judging her.

"Katara, you just saved our lives. And the lives of all the people on that mountain that she took prisoner. Do you seriously think I'd call you a freak after that?"

She looked away, embarrassed. "It's what you called me last time I did something that powerful without meaning to."

"What, you mean when you accidentally cut up an iceberg without realizing it? Yeah, that was kind of weird. But that was almost a year ago. I hadn't really seen everything you could do and, to be honest, I was kinda scared of you."

"Thanks. You're making me feel so much better."

"Oh, cut it out. Look, who was the one who stood up for you after you saved that fishing village and they wanted to kill you?"

She didn't look at him. "You were."

"Exactly. You're an amazing waterbender, Katara. You're also my sister, and I love you. Besides, you beat that creepy old lady and now she can't hurt anyone ever again. You're not a freak. You're a hero."

She faced the woods. "I don't feel like one."

Sokka walked closer. "Katara, what's really bothering you?"

"I just told you."

"Yeah, you told me you feel awful even though you just saved an entire town from that evil old woman. I want to know why."

She spun around. "Fine! I'll tell you why! Hama was from the Southern Water Tribe, just like me! She lost her family and friends, and _that's_ what she turned into! That's what _I_ could turn into!"

He didn't reply.

"Ever since I discovered I was a waterbender, I always felt like an outsider, even in my own tribe." Her voice had gone quiet now, and her hand had moved unconsciously to the spot on her neck where her mother's necklace had once rested. "And I still lie awake some nights thinking about what I'm going to do when I find the man who killed Mom. Now I've seen what happens when a person holds onto revenge their entire life, and I'm scared because I can't help feeling like I'm going to end up the same way."

She did not expect to suddenly feel a pair of arms around her, drawing her close. When she opened her eyes and discovered that Sokka was in fact hugging her, she didn't know how to feel.

Fortunately, the situation did not persist for very long. They separated after a moment, but Sokka kept one hand on her shoulder.

"Katara, I know this sounds cheesy, but the fact that you feel guilty over this is what separates you from her. She never really thought about where she was going to end up because she let that desire for revenge take over everything. If you don't want to end up like her, you won't."

She shook her head, refusing to believe that. "You've seen me get angry," she insisted. "You've seen how I still can't let go of what happened to Mom. Nobody really sets out to be evil like that, it just sort of happens without them realizing it. Looking at her was like looking at the future."

Sokka frowned. "I think I know what you mean."

"Huh?"

"Katara, do you wanna know why I'm not so prejudiced anymore?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You? Not prejudiced? You practically tore Hama's inn apart looking for evidence that she was crooked."

"And _who_ ended up being right?" he reminded her rather loudly.

Katara glared. "Weren't you trying to console me a minute ago?"

"Sorry."

She sighed. "Anyway, you were saying?"

"Look, you remember how suspicious I was when we first met Aang, right? I hated the Fire Nation so much that I looked at any outsider as a threat. I got so paranoid I couldn't tell the difference between friend and foe anymore. But you know when I stopped and really examined that side of myself?"

"When?"

"When we met Jet."

Katara said nothing.

"I thought _I_ hated the Fire Nation, but Jet was willing to beat up an innocent old man just to get back at the people who burned his village down. He tried to flood an entire village without thinking of all the innocent people he'd be hurting. The way he acted really made me stop and take a look at some of the things I'd been saying, and I realized that if I wasn't careful, I could end up lashing out at the wrong people too."

She frowned. "I remember you were right about him being up to no good too."

"Actually, I was wrong."

Now she was confused. "What?"

"Well, that was just the first time we saw him. When we met up with him in Ba Sing Se, he was trying to start over. He wanted to change. And it made me realize that we only end up where we are because of the choices we make, not what happens to us."

Something inside of her reacted to that, but she didn't know exactly what it was. "So, what? You're saying I _chose_ to be the only waterbender in the South Pole? That I _chose_ to lose my mother? How could either of those things be _my_ choice?"

"Hey, Jet didn't choose to have his village burned down either," Sokka rebutted. "And Hama didn't choose to get abducted. But you know what separates us from them?"

She glared and crossed her arms. "What?"

"We didn't choose to let it define our lives. Yeah, we've been through some awful stuff, but it's how we responded to it that made us who we are."

He smiled broadly and put a hand on her shoulder again. "You know what you did choose? You chose to stand up for Aang even when I wanted to blame him for all our problems. You chose to help the Earthbenders when the Fire Nation was throwing them in prison. You chose to stand your ground against Pakku when he wouldn't teach you waterbending because you're a girl. And you've chosen to do so much more than that."

Without warning, he moved forward and enveloped her in a hug. "You're my sister. And even though you took control of another person tonight, you did it because you didn't want to see Aang and I get hurt. That makes you a hero in my book."

She had stiffened initially, but as his words continued she started to return the hug. "Thanks, Sokka," she managed to choke out. "Sometimes I forget you're my _older_ brother."

"Don't mention it."

They heard a sudden thud from behind them as another person plodded out onto the balcony. "Are you two crybabies done keeping everybody else up yet?"

"Hey!" protested Sokka. "This was a touching moment between brother and sister! And I would like to point out that _my_ eyes are still dry!"

"Whatever." Toph turned around and walked back inside.

"We really should be getting to bed," Katara opined before embracing him in another hug. "But really, thank you. I needed that."

"You're welcome," he replied, still smiling.

They went back into the inn, disappearing from the watchful light of the moon.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the story in the Insomnia Series that I'm most satisfied with. It is also the last. We never really saw enough of this side of Sokka and Katara's sibling relationship in the show, so I wanted to put it on display here. I'm really happy with the way it turned out.


End file.
